Why We Defiantly Resist Change
No one likes change, in fact everyone hates change unless it is initiated by you on your terms with full self-awareness and you still hold your breath second guessing your decision. It could be your job, your hairstyle, your marriage, where you live or in general…YOUR LIFE! Today, we are seeing many changes for the better in awareness to racial bias and also its darkest underbelly having a light shown on it. But change is the name of the game in traversing through this journey we call life. We do it regardless, as designed. Our bodies change from a tiny infant, toddler, young adult, middle age and then elderly. Those are changes encoded within the human body that cannot be altered. We also have other designated changes imprinted in our life journey that take on form from one situation to another. Some we see coming from a mile away and use our procrastination skills and denial techniques, keeping the wolf at the door, hoping it will not happen. Then some changes blindside us without warning. Either way, ego is a nester and child, unwilling to accept the inevitable even when it is obvious it is not going to do away.
What we are seeing now is a human evolution change. We are moving into new thought forms and behavior that have been accepted as the norm for centuries. Those on top of the food chain are fighting it like hell. Those that aren’t are hoping the light will stay lit and have vowed to never let us go blindly forward again. Why do we humans hate change so much, and resist it so fervently? What is this deep-seeded fear that we have of the unknown? Why do we have such a pathological fear of change? For the real answer, we don’t look to the obvious psychological gurus, instead, we must look to science.
Specifically, we can BLAME OUR BRAINS! New research about our brains reveals why change is so hard for us to achieve. Research into our neural network proves that telling your brain a change must be made without being able to show how to make that change sets off a PC hair-trigger connection to the amygdala, which causes us discomfort, pain, and yes, RESISTANCE. That resistance to change that we all have imprinted in our brains also forces us to grow, learn and adapt as we have since creation.
The resistance to change has always been based on limited understanding of the how and why? We must open ourselves to willingness and only then are we willing to look at all the possibilities and accept there is room for more than we have been used to. We can release ourselves from the grip on our emotions and stop the limitations. We are unwilling to experience the feeling of loss, confusion, fear, or even joy for whatever reason but when we realize our understanding is limited, only then do we allow space for the universe to move in our lives for expansion. Opening ourselves to willingness may feel like we are abandoning all that we have believed but at the same time, it is an act of power and courage as a conscious choice of personal will. Being willing is a state of creation. It allows ourselves to be, while also choosing to direct our energy in a focused way. It is the being and doing from a place of openness that the we invite help from the universe rather than resist it. It is an open hand versus a resistant and fearful clenched fist. Here are some typical reasons why we are so resistant to change and a few pointers to help make those changes easier.
1. Misunderstanding why there is a need for change. Being in familiar territory is human nature and if you cannot see that a change will bring a better outcome, better to stay put.
2. Fear of the unknown. When you are lacking the trust that the future can be seen as a better way.
3. Lack of competence to adjust or have the ability to make it happen. This is a fear people will seldom admit to but is the biggest stopper of change for the better. Yes, you will fall, fail and make bad choices but then you get up and try again.
4. You do not trust in your own better choices. Sometimes we listen to others too much when it comes to our own lives. Trust your own instincts. Your gut and heart will tell you when change is right.
5. Not gathering information or research. Being lazy in your pro-activeness and not knowing all your options stop many from changing their lives to the better.
6. Poor communication about your options. If you are going to make a change in your life or one has been made; research and talk to others who have been through the same situation.
7. Changes to your routines. When we talk about comfort zones we’re really referring to routines. We love them. They make us secure. So, there’s bound to be resistance whenever change requires us to do things differently
8. Exhaustion from too many choices. Don’t mistake compliance for acceptance. People who are overwhelmed by continuous change resign themselves to it and just go along with the flow. You are there in body, but your heart is not. Start with making baby step changes and go from there.
9. What will others think of you. Making a change in your life that is all about you holds high resistance from others who have come to depend on you always being there for them. Expect that it is unlikely you will have their full support and learn how to be ok with the anger and the resentment.
10. The art of procrastination. This happens when our goals are bigger than our energy levels, our time and even sometimes, our courage. When we look at something that seems so insurmountable, it’s easy just to stuff everything back into our closest and body weight the door shut. This is when you have to find a reason to move towards that change; even if it is a grocery list for manifesting all the good things that will come a change. You just have to do SOMETHING different!
We as a human species will never be comfortable with change but are designed to continually live with it on our journey. The only way we can get more comfortable with the inevitable, is our own belief that whatever is thrown at us, we will be able to handle it because we not doing it alone. I find when adapting to a new change; affirmation tracks and prayer remind me there is a courage within me I am not even aware of. I will deal with whatever results come of those changes as you will.
