The Many “Selfs” We Live With
Ever used the expression of “Me, Myself or I” in describing your participation in something? We talk about ourselves on a continual basis in second person, as though another individual is doing your life with you. Here is your kicker for the day, you are! And we are not talking about the paranoid activity of talking to another individual that no one else can see. Actually, there are many ‘selfs’ that share your day to day roles. If we have not accepted the fact of the many facets of self that role play in your life, you will always be second guessing and mistrusting your choices. These ‘self’ are designed by your incredibly creative soul psyche to help you emotionally adapt and survive in the confusing environment we call life. Because you were designed with several factions of yourself, you can sometimes feel frustrated that you are at the mercy of your own constant changes of mind and direction.
The self we are discussing here is that overwhelmed, sometimes grumpy, feeling fragmented self that has lost the ability to live fully and think big. The self that is fully defended with protections (and baggage) to ward off the calamities which “are certain to come at any moment”. The self that feels there is a simpler way, but can’t seem to figure out how to cultivate it. There are layers and layers of ‘self’ that step forward and are in control at any given time or situation.
We have so many personal roles we live by but in essence there is only one self and that true self is always enmeshed in contradiction. The way we were taught to view the world, how to place ourselves in it and then struggle not to be destroyed by it; is the contradiction that most of us live with everyday. Each of us must confront the basic concept of how your true and authentic self can discover how to manage the many versions of you that show up. I have listed below are some of these conflicts we face everyday to give you an idea of how we struggle to use what is real in our life versus our defenses.
1. We don’t want to conform but yet fear being ‘different’ and judged.
2. We are afraid of our anger, either not ever using it or having it control you and then angry at ourselves for being in fear of that anger.
3. We fear confrontation, so we allow manipulation.
4. We are overwhelmed with taking charge of our own life, yet cannot control the need to exercise power by orchestrating others’ lives.
5. We hate feeling depressed, yet sometimes desire the solace that a good ‘pity party’ gives you.
6. We fear taking risks but always longing for the adventure that risks are required.
7. We refuse to be flexible and then imprison ourselves with the rigidity of sameness.
8. We avoid valuing and loving ourselves for who we are, flaws and all, yet feel isolated and alone in our own judgment and feeling the judgment of others.
The constant battle of ‘self’ can only be won by cultivating a dialogue between your mind, your heart and your emotions. You must allow everything to reflect back upon you and your own natural state of awareness. Learn to have your own agenda and not embark everyday with a blank sheet that everyone else writes their script on. Analyzing and evaluating where you are coming from, what’s happening, and where you want to go; replaces judgments and guilt feelings when you evaluate of who is really in charge. Setting your personal priorities that flow from self-knowledge and goals that are consciously set by you. Learning and accepting of how your choices effects your life. Giving you a sense of purpose, growing more aware as you work towards a goal that belongs to you. Cut the unending chatter and debates with your ‘selves’ that question your ability to do anything right or well and take life as it comes. Hoping, praying and expecting divine guidance so those ‘selves’ don’t stop you from moving forward and do you in. Chose the self that always supports you and allow the one and only YOU take charge!
The essential ingredient in finding your authentic self and shutting down all the other parts of you functioning in fear is all about commitment. A steady commitment to the idea of liberating yourself from doubt and the discipline and effort it will take to free you to exist in authentic strength of character versus constant fearful inner doubts.
‘Courage Sans Peur’ (Courage w/o Fear)
To Contact Susan Z Rich:
Website: www.szrwhitewings.com
Email: szrich@aol.com
407–862–6902
Author of Soul Windows..Secrets From The Divine on Amazon
If you are interested in learning more about these concepts, Soul Window life cycles and how it effects our experiences and choices. Helping you to understanding how to handle the emotions that come with them, you can also look up my book on Amazon called Soul Windows….Secrets From The Divine by Susan Z Rich. It may help you to see things from a different perspective.
